Last of the Last's

In this final hours of life in France as an exchange student, or better yet, in these final hours of life as a Rotary Youth Exchange student in general, there are so many 'last's.'
The last time I drink my favorite Capriccio Nespresso coffee.
The last time I run in the Combs with Leonie.
The last time I sneak some Nutella from the jar.
The last time I drink some delicious Gevrey-Chambertin premiere Crus wine in Gevrey-Chambertin.
The last time I laugh at my pain-in-the-ass host sister fight with her mom over nothing important.
The last time I write a blog about France while still in France.
The list goes on and on because with each passing moment, something ends. Something in my life ends suddenly, and very possibly for good.

The think is that, what most people have a hard time understanding is that it is a lot harder than most people give me credit for. I think some people look at my life and think, 'lucky brat has lived in Japan and pranced around Europe for a year.' Nobody seems to understand that every where I go I meet someone new, do something wonderful, or even fall into a comfortable routine or pattern. And then when it is time to leave as such, I have to just drop it all and go home. Sure this year has not been easy with every passing minute, but honestly, for how upset I am right now, it is hard to say that I am not going to miss France.

Today is my last day in France. My last day as a Rotary Yoth Exchange Student. My last day living with the R's, who have become more than just a host family to me. My last day in Fixin, France, a place I have spent a year calling home. My last day with Chacha, Ant, Coco, and Clem. My last run in the Fixin woods with L. My last evening to fall asleep on the Mezzanine above Coline's bed. My last time to indulge in Nutella, Nespresso, Cote d'Or chocolate, and authentic Bourgogne wine. My last day to turn on the radio or TV and hear just French. My last day with the damn Bisous (thank god!) Everything is a last, and it is really painful and tearing me up inside.

I have said this before, but it is true. It is not as easy as I thouhgt livin the life that I do. I know I am luckier than most people in the entire world, but most people have never had to leave behind everything they loved, their entire life, and family once let alone twice.