I like to think myself as fairly well traveled. I realize I have mentioned on every blog entry that I have lived in France and Japan before and that I am using these past experience as a starting point to understanding some of the things I encounter along the road of life. I apologize for this, but I truly believe that it has given me the ability to see past the surface culture of France. Past the baguettes, the charming houses, and the slightly rude everyday Frenchmen. I have been able to indulge further in the culture, and I have learned how to think. At least, in regards to how the French and the Europeans think.
When I arrived in Strasbourg, and later on when I stayed with my host family from my Rotary youth exchange in 2008, I could not help but find myself wondering if France, and by extension the rest of Europe, ever really changes. The country seems to be frozen in time. The same buildings built hundreds of years ago are still being used, and not part of small epic new mini-mall. The Boulanger sits on the street with the same bread and jam to sell. There are still tons of strikes, even if they have evolved into anti-EU tax strikes rather than anti-French government strikes. The French people still have the same mindset about Americans: they only respect you if you at least make some sort of effort. Had this country changed at all since 2008? Surely, there must be something different?
One thing I did realize was how much I have changed as a person since I last lived in this country. And I truly believe that my DGPS trip is part of that change. Perhaps because I was surrounded by like-minded curious American Honors students, eager to learn and embrace a new culture, or maybe because I am a little older and think of more sophisticated things. I used to think of France as a country of delicious bread, cheese, and wine, endless strikes for meaningless purposes, and a mindset of being the center of the culture. I used to think of it as a single country in Europe. I now see it as part of the European Union, even if the French do not necessarily see it in this light. "Oh yeah, the French hate being European, " says L R correctly.
An entity in the European Union is not an easy thing to wrap one’s head around. It is not the same status as my home state New Jersey in Washington DC. It does not have a representation in a two-body Congress. In school, students learn French history, before they learn European history. The president of the United States symbolizes far more than the President of the European Union, while the president of France is far superior to the governor of New Jersey. Even though a Senator from Alaska still has to agree on the same bill for legislation in Florida, representation from Finland for legislation in Portugal is different. At least the Alaskan and the Floridian both call themselves American and speak the same language. The same cannot be said the Fin and the Portuguese. So knowing this, it is hard to put the status of a EU state into one’s mindset. One has to completely learn how to think, and not try to put a square peg in a round whole with regards to learning how the European Union works compared to our American federalist system.
I remember back in 2008 arguing with host parents about the European Union. My host mother was born and raised in Germany, but married a Frenchman and is now currently a French citizen. She had the same mindset at our tour guide, Christine, with her sheepish admittance to being a German citizen. (Although when it came down to it, she was German before she was French. And it was insult to think otherwise.) “I’m European before I am anything else,” she would say with force. We used to argue the importance of the European Union for Europe and for the rest of the world. I would always argue about the additional red tape and bureaucracy, and question why Europe was so keen on big governmental institutions. My host parents would retort that I was being foolish and hypocritical, with Washington having the same problems as Brussels and Strasbourg with regards to bureaucracy. But red tape and big government aside, I now see the European Union as a necessity. Perhaps not to the extent that it hopes to be, but an institution as such needs to exist.
Our trip to Verdun settled my back and forth thinking about the European Union. I have wrote extensively about how deeply touched I was by Verdun. Having seen the ruins of Normandy, and juxtaposing it with the ruins of Verdun, I have another completely different outlook on the French and the Europeans. It not only changed my mindset about the necessity of war, but also about the importance of a governing European body. It has also helped me to understand why the Europeans have not always supported the American endeavors in Iraq and/or other military expeditions. One look at the ravaged countryside of Verdun, which is still a haven for unexploded artillery, will help anyone understand this.
In conclusion, the trip has given me more than just 12 amazing friends, an unforgettable experience in a beautiful place in this world, and a history lesson that I will never forget. It has given me a new appreciation for all that Europe is, how it functions, it’s goals and dreams, and it’s haunting legacy that continues to plague its trek into the future.
I realize something else too. I'm European. I'm American. I'm lost. Eternally lost.
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